There She Goes
by funeral flowers
Summary: It didn’t go on for long, I’ll tell you that. I always had a say in the matter with her, she looked so pleading that it scared me." PG for hinted suggestions of abuse. Light suggesed RonMione. Songifc to 'There She Goes' by Robbie Williams.


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Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Note: Too lazy.

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There She Goes

She is vivid. Running like mad away from me. In these dreams I never catch her. Seems too much like real life, the reality that she can never be mine. I swear it, she's the most beautiful person on this earth. And I didn't get her when I could. I could have had Hermione Granger all to myself, but instead, I took her for granted, and I didn't get her. I was so sure she'd know it was me who loved her. Not Viktor Krum.

I remember watching her down the aisle when she married that idiot. Smiling so big, eyes filled with tears of rejoice. I almost left, but she gave me this sweet smile and I was rooted to my seat; I watched her said 'I do' and he too. I watched them trade vows. She looked at me right before the kiss, with a sort of 'here goes nothing' stare. We'd kissed once or twice on the lips. When she kissed him she looked so happy, and I felt so bad. I watched for a second and then looked to the ground. I remembered a broken Krum figurine. Right then I'd rather have seen a broken Krum.

I'm dreaming again, sitting. Hermione looks the way she did the last time I saw her, smiling, bruise on her left arm, timid. She sat with me and talked. We were still good friends. For ages we went on about my life, and how I was doing. Any implication about her and she'd change the subject. In my dream she walks right on by. There she goes.

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There she goes  
There she goes again  
Chasing through my fate  
And I just can't contain  
This feelin' that remains

The last time I saw her she looked pretty beat up. I didn't ask, I'd learned anything about her was off limits these days. She did a pretty good job of hiding her pain. Now I'm sitting in my room, holding a gun pointing towards my face. I don't have her. I can't live. But Ginny's in the next room and I dare not die. The last time I saw her we were drinking tea on her veranda. Harry walked in and sat beside us and we reminisced for hours, joking about him and Cho, as Luna came in with a stomach the size of a basketball protruding from under her shirt. Hermione smiled but I saw that she had a scrape on her neck. What from?

Looking back now, I should have known. Their marriage couldn't have been fully out of love, now could it? I know he got her pregnant, we all did. They had to marry because with Hermione's parents dead she had no way to take care of a child, much less herself, even. Krum had so much money, he took her in, it was her child. I wished it were mine, it was some way for me to know that I was part of her. But no, she had Viktor's child in her. I wish I had known then what would happen. I'd take her with me. But I didn't. The last time I saw her she was hurt. So was I. What from?

Always in my dreams she is so close, and when I lean to touch her, the hem of her robes, she is farther on again. I wake up drenched in cold sweat, my dream still so vivid that it plays right ahead of me. She's walking, walking away from me like she always did. Farther and farther away each time. There she goes.

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There she goes  
There she goes again  
Pulsing through my vein  
And I just can't contain  
This feelin' that remains

Vivid. My heart is racing as I think of her. So beautiful when the sun hits her right. Sipping tea as we laugh about all that's happened, our childhood crushes. Her husband is off at a game she couldn't make, and Luna is squeezing Harry's hand so tight, you'd swear she was about to die. She seems very nervous about the birthing of her child. She thinks that, since it will be Christmas time when she's born, that nargles will eat it… No comment.

It is the last time I saw Hermione. I've seen Harry and Luna since, many times. And their child, little Josephine, the destructive two-year-old with the oddest color hair you'd imagine, and one green eyes, one brown eye. She's really sweet, but she gets her temper from Harry, and her overall personality from Luna and Hermione taught her to read.

The last time I saw her she was so afraid, always looking behind her to see if Krum was walking up the drive. I had no idea then, I wonder how I didn't know. I have a feeling, deep inside, that somehow, all that's happened is all my fault. I've been told countless times that it wasn't. But I still believe it is. In my dream she runs right past me, like I'm not even there. There she goes.

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There she goes  
There she goes again  
She calls my name  
Pulls my train  
No one else could heal my pain  
But I just can't contain  
This feelin' that remains

"So, Hermione, are you thinking of any names?" Luna questioned Hermione in her usual 'I-wonder-where-I-am' voice, and Hermione, who had never been very fond of Luna, replied in a very on-edge voice, though I know now it was for another reason she was so frightened.

"Yes, Luna, I am. I've come up with Bridget, and also Lauren," she poured herself more tea and I stirred my own while talking with Harry about how well the Cannons were doing, thanks to him. Harry looked at Hermione, I think he might have had a clue what was going on before I did.

"Wonderful names, 'Mione. For our baby," he put his hand on Luna's arm, "I was thinking Leigh. Luna was thinking… what was it dear? I don't know if I can pronounce it."

As if coming out of a deep sleep, moving very slowly and yawning, Luna moved in up her chair, both hands gripping her stomach. "I was thinking Branwen Irisna." They all coughed to stifle a laugh, which when unnoticed by Luna, who was thinking they liked the name by the smiles on their faces. Harry leaned over and out of the corner of his mouth told Ron,

"There is _no way_ my child is going to be named Branwen Irisna,"

In this dream Hermione looks back and gets up quickly, nearly knocking over the table. She helps clean up but disappears quickly, and we all apparate, knowing she meant for us to leave. In my dream she walked right on past, like she always did. There she goes.

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There she goes  
There she goes again  
Chasing down my lane  
And I just can't contain  
This feelin' that remains

It didn't go on for long, I'll tell you that. I always had a say in the matter with her, she looked so pleading that it scared me. I remained transfixed in the thought she cared still for me. That was what got her in trouble. I don't see why it's wrong now. After I knew all that happened.

Her baby died in birth. It was sad, burying her in a box that closely resembled one of a shoe. I would rather have died that have watched her sob and reach for the grave, with a stony faced Krum holding her back with no emotion whatsoever. I felt like going over there and killing Krum, reaching for Hermione and taking her away from the idiot she married. Scary, isn't it?

I love Hermione Granger, and I'd do anything for her. I would have changed the world for her, if only I had seen what was right under my nose. But all she does as walk on past me. There she goes.

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There she goes  
There she goes  
There she goes

But it's too late now, because she's dead, and I can do nothing about it.


End file.
